resolving for 2013

i know it’s not the most timely, but i wanted to make sure i thought these through and got it right. here are my 2013 resolutions:

some of them are obvious and easily explained. some of them are a bit more personal in nature. i’ll get into that here:

1.  i was 3 days old when i was adopted by the people i call my parents.  i love them, and they’ve never given me reason to feel as if anything was missing from my life; however, i’ve always had a curiosity about my birth mother.  and i’ve struggled with feeling that my curiosity was worthwhile enough to need satisfying.  i downloaded and printed the paperwork last week, and as i started to fill it out, i realized that there are more people in the picture than just me, my birth mother, and my adoptive parents.  the form asked if i was interested in meeting my birth father, any siblings, and relatives including grandparents.  that’s when it dawned on me that there are more people to my story, and 30 years after i started, i’m really ready to meet them.  sort of.  i’ve filled out the form, but i haven’t postmarked it yet.  there’s no guarantee that the ontario adoption database will match me with anyone (both sides of the closed adoption need to register to meet), and i need to deal with my emotions of how to handle the possibility of never hearing anything back.

4. aren’t you (or rather, isn’t kitten) already in a burlesque troupe?  yes.  well, sorta.  secret city burlesque beta is an open-mic format burlesque troupe that doesn’t really have formal membership, but i consider myself a member of.  i am so proud of us.  we are really, really awesome.  my goal of auditioning is geared towards obtaining guest spots with other troupes for specific performances, working with groups that do a limited number of shows per year, and learning more about the art of the tease.  most of my 2013 goals involve putting myself out there, and this is definitely one of them.  i’ve already done some audition work, and i’ve got more planned in the next few weeks.  dealing with the anxiety of waiting to hear back is huge, but learning to deal with adversity and disappointment is a huge part of building better self-esteem.  the other side of the coin:  being accepted for performances is going to be a huge boost of awesome.

8. this resolution came about in san francisco.  through a series of events (this is a euphemism for “i met a hot boy who was not chained to technology, we had a connection, and he rocked my world”), i came to realize how dependent i am on technology and social media.  it’s not all bad:  i love sharing and gaining inspiration, and i stay in touch with so many people.  but i’m too dependent on technology for my connections with people, and sometimes it is really amazing to spend hours with someone and not check my phone.  so i am resolved to pay more attention to the present, and less to a phone.  and you!  you people can help me!  let’s hang out more irl and less on the damn internet.

11-13.  every year, i leave a few spots open for mid-year resolutions.  i have some ideas on what i’d like to accomplish, but don’t want to box myself in too much on things that sounded great in january, but less excellent in june.

which brings me to:  how to set good new years resolutions.  i have a good record of making (and keeping) new years resolutions.  in 2005, i vowed to give up smoking.  not only did i quit, i also started running, and by 2006, a majority of my goals were triathlon-based.  the lesson here:  aim high.  it’s okay to set just one resolution, especially if it’s a quality one that will take lots of work.  then, in 2009, i got sick with some heart issues, and i had to give up on triathlon-based goals.  the point is:  be flexible, and forgive yourself if your health or budget can’t keep up with your goals.  i ended up having a blast in 2009 and traveling places with the same money i would’ve otherwise spent on race entry fees.  another great pointer:  set specifics.  it’s okay to have a general goal (e.g. work on leadership skills) if you don’t know what specific opportunities you may have.  sometimes general goals lead to really great opportunities, but you still have to be specific enough so that you know when you’re achieving your goal.  and finally:  choose goals that you actually want to achieve.  i would always love to be skinnier, richer, happier, and more in love on 12/31 than i am on 1/1 of the same year.  but if “lose weight” or “don’t spend money” or “go out with anyone that asks me on a date” is going to make you have a miserable year, then don’t set it as a goal.  don’t set anything that makes you miserable as a goal.  here’s a little secret:  if you make yourself work on things that make you happy, sometimes the things that make you unhappy fall into place.  and sometimes, doing things that make you happy give you enough perspective to realize that those things that were making you so unhappy weren’t even that important to begin with.

in 2011, i started setting year-ending-number-goals of things i wanted to accomplish.  so, 11 things in 2011 and 12 things in 2012.  you get the point.  eventually, it may get to the point that the numbering scheme is too cumbersome.  but right now, i’m excited about having 13 goals to accomplish this year.  i’ve already undertaken steps to complete 5 of the 13, and it’s not even halfway through january yet.  there’s a huge boost of confidence that comes from achieving goals – the kind of confidence that says:  get out there, you can achieve more and better things!

i kept 100% of 2012 and 2013’s goals.  some of them seem a little open-ended, but i accomplished what that goal meant to me.  i also learned a few things about bad goals.  the whole attempt at work/life balance during tax season is utter bullshit, and simply cannot be done.  i attempted to do it and moderately succeeded, but only at the expense of my sleep/life schedule.  never again.  i’m also dropping tattoos off the goal list, unless i encounter another super painful one that i’m not sure i’ll complete without a little extra motivation.  because seriously.  i’m going to get more tattoos.  it’s like resolving to breathe more air.

so there we have my first post of 2013 and my resolutions for the year.  (sorry i dropped off the face of the earth for a hot minute there.  i got super sick with a sinus infection… or a series of them.  i’m waiting on a follow-up with a specialist, but hopefully i can get my chronic sinusitis issues solved in 2013, too.)